Thursday, April 22, 2010

It's Gonna Be Long...

Where has April gone? It feels like we just started off this year and here we are nearing the end of April. We have been really busy. I would say personally I have been more emotionally exhausted than physically. Wrapping my mind around situations - dwelling on them - praying about them. Finally what feels like a solid resolution has come. I don't want to get all in depth but I will talk a bit on the biggest issue.

Our daughter Faith has had some "issues" with some girls at school. These "issues" flared up to the point that it included boys. Then the "issues" flared up to engulf her where she had enemies in people that she didn't even know. We fought it through the administration for about 2 months. We stood behind her and encouraged her that it would pass. I was hearing things that were happening on a daily basis. My daughter was unraveling, and we could see it. But, she was not going to let them push her out of the school...she was determined to stay.

One of her teachers told me "I am very aware of the problems she is having with her former friends. I addressed this issue with administration last week. I hate to see that she is having such a hard time. It is very unfortunate that any student has to go through this with their peers." The principal and my husband became quick friends through all their contact over the "issues". In fact, the principal knew it was huge. He knew it had grown into something that was out of control.

The "issues" became more intense and extremely hateful and our Faith was to her breaking point. I am not sure if her mind or heart could have handled much more. We finally decided to pull her from the school, after speaking with the ring leader's father (who was very sympathetic, in fact his daughter had told him they were still good friends), her teachers, the principals, etc. The principal was in agreement that removing her would be in the best interest of Faith. In fact, he allowed her to complete the remainder of her six weeks at home because it was so bad and we wanted a clean break grade wise. Is that sad or what?

How do kids possess so much power? Why are girls especially so mean? You know all this was going on while the suicides from bullying were peppering the news from many directions...two near our own town. Not that I would think that for Faith but she was the most emotionally unstable I have ever seen was awful.

You know I was reading today's daily thought/scripture we have near our coffee pot. Here is what it says:

The greatest anxiety for an adolescent, far exceeding the fear of death, is the possibility of rejection or humiliation in the eyes of his/her peers.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. 1John 4:18
And honestly, if she did not know the Lord, I am not sure how she would have gotten through it. Well, to add to that, I am not sure how Big Daddy or I would have gotten through it either. There is something about someone hurting your child that makes the flesh want to take over and put the Spirit in the backseat.
Since all this went down has the problem gone away? In one word...NO. But, it is only through Internet, cell phones, and the occasional path crossing. Most of these can be avoided. Faith has deleted a lot of things and ignored others, her friends still tell her what is coming through the community sites - but she doesn't have to co-exist with them on a minute by minute basis anymore.
She began her first day with a private tutor who will be teaching her through high school, which she has high hopes to graduate early. It is Christian curriculum, a Christian teacher and the teacher is experienced. She is certified and taught in both public and private school and now runs her own private school. In fact, Hunter approached us about attending and he will be joining Faith next year. He also hopes to graduate early. Big Daddy and I have such confirmation in knowing that this is the right move. So, in a nutshell...they will be avoiding the current atmosphere where attitudes, language and actions are all influencing them to some degree. We are excited about the totally controlled environment. They will be in a home with a teacher, receiving a very small teacher to student ratio....Faith's is currently 1 teacher, 2 students. The school also has an 80% college attendance rate after graduation. If that is what they decide to pursue...and of course, it was Faith's first concern..."How will this affect me going to law school?"
I do know that kids can do well in public school. I was one of them. I enjoyed high school about as much as you can. I'd even say it was great. But, I wasn't in the same place as my children are. I think about the struggles they face and they weren't even there for me. I for one did not have the conviction that my children have at this age...not that they are near perfect. But, they do for the most part know right from wrong and generally attempt to follow the right path.
For those of you who are thinking...what in the world are y'all doing? Well, I get it. I understand. Not exactly mainstream, is it? And, to be honest, I guess that is exactly the point.


Angie said...

So the teacher doesn't come to your home? That sounds like a very interesting alternative. Very cool that your son will be joining her. It will be interesting to see if they end up bonding even more during this. And after everything that's been in the news lately about bullying, we, too, are being even more guarded about where our kids are and who they're with. Ugh! Persecution is expected, but not an easy thing, is it??

Julie said...

It breaks my heart that my niece is having to go through this. She is too good of a person!!! Faith you are doing something right because Satan is attacking just keep shining your light for Jesus Christ!!! I will be praying that NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER!! In Jesus Name!!
I love you Faith!!!!